My Predicament

Well, my second entry in this blog. I don't feel like writing this on my diary, so, here I am.

The title ... sounds so ... beyond normality, like I'm exaggerating it.

I'm an English teacher. I've been trained to teach IELTS. Lately, I've found myself moving from one website window to another, looking for speaking questions that have been given in international tests as well as writing questions ans sample answers. All is for the sake of enhancing my teaching skill and my students' in turn.

How.eveeerrrrr ........ I now have a student who is so negative about her skills. She's always wailing about her inability to cope up with IELTS materials, especially in Speaking and Writing. I know most students face a similar situation, but as they stroll slowly yet persistently through all practices and pieces or even crumbs of advice, they do show progress. This girl, no matter what I have told her (practice, hypnotize yourself every day telling that you can beat this up, memorize terms and expressions, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera), never fails to get stuck in delivering her thoughts.

I'm not saying that she has not attempted hard to do her best; it's just that, as long as that negative mind or unimportant fear lingers in her mind (I positively believe she is in this state), there will not be any meaningful progress.

I've been trying to suppress my anger or annoyance on this stagnancy since she's such a delicate girl in the inside. Doing it the hard way may not do her any good.

*frustrated* What am I supposed to do? She needs band 6, which I believe, once all the trivial fear and actions are peeled off, she'll excel.

Whenever I find me in this situation, I start to question my ability to teach my students. I feel like I haven't done much. *stressful* Maybe I have lost my ability to teach? Oh nooo .... this is not good if it's true.

*thinking* Planning to return the course fee she's going to pay me when she doesn't get her 6. It sounds so foolishly noble, like I'm so wealthy and completely well-off that I do not need any of that cash, but I do feel guilty. Completely guilty. She has been so kind to me. A part of me seriously hopes that return-the-course-fee moment does not have to happen.

*heavy sigh*